butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she woke up with a sticky ear
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
