Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
