i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
