You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
