I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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