dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
