alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
