I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
