So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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