i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
