Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
