I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
