Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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