Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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