Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
