dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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