Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
