That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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