Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
