I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
