Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
