Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
