Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
