I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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