I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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