sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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