Tell her she can't have a vagina
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
