I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You need Xanax blowdarts
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
