Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Damn victory sex feels great
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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