found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize