Joe is yelling at the trees again.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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