Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
