wat bout pragnant strippers??
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
