yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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