brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize