Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
