Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
