Your tits are I can't wait for
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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