it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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