you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I need a beard to bite.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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