I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
third nipple confirmed
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
