he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
