I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
