Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
