Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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