Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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