some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
