Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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