we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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