Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
