That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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