and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
