Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
