The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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