Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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