im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
as a side note pls kill me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
