I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
