I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
